The further along you get in your pregnancy, the harder simple daily chores become. With the added responsibility of carrying a child, life can get overwhelming, really fast… unless, you make changes.
Before we get started, let me tell you a little about myself. I am a recovering perfectionist. I don’t like to eat out, because of my OCD, I often have major cleanliness issues with most of the restaurants around town. I am also extremely particular about the foods my children eat. We don’t encourage ANY junk food and prefer home cooked meals made with the healthiest ingredients and spices. I don’t like anyone cleaning my house because I feel that not everyone takes care to contain the germs the way I can. I also cannot stand dust due to my allergies, and feel anxiety when surrounded by disorganization and clutter. My entire existence was challenged when Allah (SWT) blessed me with my four beautiful and extremely loving kids. To top it all off, MashaAllah, I am pregnant with baby #5 at the age of thirty-six. Over the years, and with every subsequent pregnancy, I have noticed my energy level decreasing significantly.
This pregnancy has been the most challenging for me. My first three children are 6, 8, and 10 years old. This means that they are fairly independent, school-going, children with extracurricular commitments. They are also old enough that they need proper food, 3 times a day. During school days, I need to provide them with a healthy and filling lunchbox and afterschool snack. In addition to these three, I have a 17 month old baby. His schedule is completely different from the first three. He does not attend school, however, I do montessori activities with him. He is extremely energetic, but too young to understand mommy’s depleting energy. He requires a lot more attention and at times can be a picky eater.
In honor of the 9 months of pregnancy, here are 9 tips to help you de stress and simplify your pregnancy life. These are life lessons I have learned over the course of my last five pregnancies.
Tip 1:
Let go of perfectionism. If you normally like to have your home spotless at all times, let go a little. It’s ok if the house is a little less tidy, or if there’s some dishes in the sink. It’s ok if the toy room isn’t cleaned up today, or the laundry isn’t put away immediately.
Tip 2:
If you don’t already have hired cleaning help, hire one now. If budget is an issue, go through your finances to figure out if there is anything you can take out. For example, maybe you have a gym membership that you are no longer using. Or, one that you are using but can replace it with an at home routine or by using a free community gym. By canceling the membership, you may be able to hire someone to come for a couple hours once a month to do the deep cleaning in the house. If you can afford it, you may choose to have someone come weekly, or bi-weekly. Do whatever works for you and your budget.
Tip 3:
Another area of household chores that can easily be outsourced is laundry. Many times you may even find cleaning help that can assist in folding, ironing, and organizing your laundry. In my home, the kids can put away their own laundry, and even help with the baby’s. Its not perfect, and sometimes the clothes on the hangers aren’t completely straight, but that’s ok. I have hired help for all my ironing needs.
Tip 4:
In the last couple years, several grocery delivery companies have sprung up. Regardless of how you are feeling, and if you have the energy to go grocery shopping, you still need food in the home. Companies such as Amazon FRESH, Shipt, and instacart are just a few of the many companies that are in the business for delivering groceries to your doorstep. There are also companies now that offer order online and pick up in store services. Some of these companies, such as walmart, will even bring your groceries to the car. Other grocery stores have options where the store will fill your order and all you have to do is go in, pay, and take your groceries. If by chance you happen to live in an area that does not offer such services, you can hire someone to do your groceries for you. I have not had the need to this as often this pregnancy, but during my previous pregnancy, most of my grocery shopping was done by either my husband, my mom or someone that I hired.
Tip 5:
Food is extremely important and unlike other aspects of life, it cannot be cut out. Whether you are feeling sick or tired, you still need food to nourish your body, your spouse and if you have other kids, they still need to be fed. So, whenever you have the energy, I highly recommend building a freezer stack. If you are comfortable with store bought options, be sure to stock up on those: breads, frozen pizza, chicken nuggets, kabobs and other proteins. If you prefer homecooked, you can cook and freeze several different varieties of foods. In my home, we always like to keep a mix of both home cooked and store bought items. You can almost always find the following store bought items in my freezer stash: naan, malaysian paratha, homestyle paratha, chicken nuggets, seekh kabobs, and shredded cheese. I also keep the following homemade items: paratha, chapatti, Qeema, boiled chicken, chapli kabob, shami kabob, and chicken tikka. I also like to freeze atleast one tupperware of EVERY MEAT item i cook fresh. Before I serve the dish, I take a little to put away in the freezer. These items can help put together lunch, school lunch and dinner on the days I am unable to cook.
Tip 6:
The next tip (still on the topic of food) is to find good and reasonably priced restaurants (or at home catering aunties) that you can order from. There are plenty of days, especially in the first few months of pregnancy and the last few weeks when energy levels are at the lowest. In those days if you have depleted the freeze stash or hadn’t gotten around to building one or you just arent in the mood for the items in the stash, you will need to have on hand options for take out.
Tip 7:
Hire or get help for babysitting if you have other kids you are caring for. Family is a great source for free babysitting. If you don’t regularly use them for this purpose, now would be a great time to start. Another great option is to set up play dates. If you’ve hosted other children for play dates at your home, this would be a great time to cash in on that and have other parents host play dates at their home. If you haven’t, ask for the favor and you can return it later once you’ve settled in with the new baby. If all else fails, there’s always the option of hiring a babysitter. Regardless of which route you choose, be sure to take some extra time for rest and self care such as massages.
Tip 8:
Another important tip for those with other school aged children is to set up carpool or aftercare. There were many instances during this and my previous pregnancies when I felt too weak to even get up, let alone drive and pick the kids up from school. Thankfully, my sister in law’s kids attend the same school and she’s always willing to not only pick up my kids but also drop them off to my house. There were also many instances when my husband took a break during work to pick up the kids from school. If you don’t have an option for carpool, consider setting up a school based aftercare. The cost of prepaid aftercare is often much less than if your child is sent to aftercare in the event you are late, or worse, sent to sit alone in the office for a very long time. Most schools have aftercare programs. Having the option, gives you some peace of mind in the event that you are running late or if you are unable to pick up the child in time and have to make last minute arrangements for pick up,
Tip 9:
Last but certainly not least, cut down on your commitments. It’s ok to say no to some of the social obligations. It’s ok to decline party invitations. Sometimes we feel guilty especially when the plan is to stay home and rest, but when you are carrying a baby, rest is a necessity, not a luxury. So, it’s completely ok to say no and hang out at home in your bed or couch watching Netflix, reading a good book or just sleeping. Don’t overbook yourself. When you have older children, many times those commitments are for their extracurricular activities. It’s ok to suspend those activities until you are ready to make those commitments again. We often feel the most guilt when it comes to our children. I have found myself saying this many times, “my pregnancy is not their fault, why should they suffer”. But the reality is, that we don’t give our kids enough credit. They love us just as much as we love them. They want to care for us just as much as we care for them. And they understand our needs just as much as we understand theirs. If you give them a chance, you will see that they will be incredibly understanding towards your need for rest, and more than willing to try at home alternatives to their extracurricular activities. My children love soccer but have been unable to participate in soccer this season due to my pregnancy. It made them sad but they were understanding. We decided to replace the time we would’ve spent on soccer practice and soccer games with more outdoor bike riding time. I promised them that I would setup more soccer play dates for them with other children so that they have the opportunity to practice their soccer skills. And whenever I can’t, they have each other to practice with. I also have foldable goal posts and orange cones that they can use to practice soccer drills in our backyard.
Based on my own experience, these are the best 9 tips I can give you for balancing home & family life without getting overwhelmed.
There are still so many other ways to make life easier during pregnancy. I would love to know some of your tips to simplify pregnancy life. Please leave me a comment below and share some of your best tips.
